One of my desires for 2012 was to improve my blog, which mostly meant write about something other than Lulu from time to time. I have been working hard on that and am fairly pleased with my progress. But something unexpected is happening.
This month has been one of spiritual renewal for me (that’s not the unexpected part!). One day at a time, I have felt little pushes to make changes in my life— giving up sweets and sweeteners, not using a computer in the day until I’ve first spent time with God, offering more leadership and service in my church, etc. One area that I feel like I’ve been pulled away from is Internet use. Last week in fact, I wrote all my blog posts over the weekend and scheduled them to publish on different days so that I didn’t write at all or read other blogs all week. It was amazing and fresh and quiet.
Over the last weeks but especially the last few days, I have sensed God inviting me into new endeavors and away from blogging. It wasn’t something I expected to happen, and I’m feeling some grief about it to be honest. I value this blog as a way to share my life with friends and family, a way to keep Lulu’s loved ones close to her in spirit if not geographically, a way to document her little life, and a way for me to process my thoughts and express my creativity. That feels like a lot to give up.
At the same time, I have a sense of joyful expectation about what’s ahead. It feels like I have a choice between talking about how great my life is and experiencing that life on a deeper level. There’s a lot going on here on Georgia Ave. I planted a 4x12 spring garden yesterday, we are getting chickens this weekend, I’m spending more quality time with my in-laws, we are starting a weekly tradition of inviting people over for dinner, I’m writing more love letters, new and precious friendships are coming into my life, I baked bread for the first time this week, spring has arrived in NC and I want to be outside….
And I feel a call to move into a quieter, more reflective season. More intimate and personal. Private, not in the sense that I don’t share it, but that I intentionally share it, and my sharing happens in the context of relationship.
I intend to keep the practice of writing a weekly summary with photos, both because it’s something I want Lulu to have one day and because I want her true fans to stay in the loop. I’ll probably throw in some tidbits about grown-up life here and there, too (because aren’t you curious about my endeavor in urban farming?!). But for now, I want to do that via email so that it can be more relational. If you’d like to receive those emails, let me know in a comment or by email (hpmurray at gmail). I’m glad to share with anyone who is interested, so don’t be shy if you’re a stranger or just a distant friend!
And lastly I’ll leave you with this bit of Scripture that sums up where I want to go these days and the life I feel God inviting me into. I hope it blesses you as it has blessed me.
God, I’m not trying to rule the roost,
I don’t want to be king of the mountain.
I haven’t meddled where I have no business
Or fantasized grandiose plans.
I’ve kept my feet on the ground,
I’ve cultivated a quiet heart.
Like a baby content in its mother’s arms,
My soul is a baby content.
Wait, Israel, for God. Wait with hope.
Hope now; hope always!
Psalm 131, The Message